First, my name is John Farrar. This post is actually not about me, but about each of us. This is first, as in the first post on the Life Vision Quest blog so let’s start off by me welcoming you to our site. I appreciate your visit and hope some of what I have learned during the first fifty years of life will serve to help you along your journey.
Who are you?
So, to the topic, we know one of the top questions that spans generations are “Who am I?”. In the sixties, there was a revolution around this topic. There are different reasons we struggle with this dilemma.
Who do you know that battles with this question? Is this a question you have answered for your life? Sometimes it is life challenges that pull us all together, and this is one of those struggle areas.
Danica McKellar was a childhood actor that did well but after her successful career on The Wonder Years, it was a time of disconnect. She struggled with the classic “Who am I?” identity challenge. What made it difficult was so many people knew and identified with her as the character from the TV show also. She had an incredible breakthrough when she discovered what made her unique. Watch this short video for her story.
That AHH Moment.
Each of us deals with this challenge. This is one of the keys to what we call a “Life Vision Quest”. We don’t all need to be a star to need to overcome an identity like Danica did. Of course, most of us are not overcoming an alter identity as a famous actor who ran on TV shows year after year. Some people ask, how bad could that be? Well, different seasons and different times show it changes. The actor George Reeves did not do as well. ( link: His story on is Wikipedia. ) His popularity in his day became a challenge he never triumphed over.
We will visit this topic now and again. We should take two answers away looking at the lives of George and Danica. Acting is only one career that will form an identity. There are many stigmas that people put on our lives till they get to know us. The first is to get to know ourselves well enough to know when others don’t have a clue who we are. It is a bigger challenge to go through life letting others, especially strangers, define who we are. We can all do better than that. Take time to let go of the fantasy and the stigmas and get to know who you are.
We are not a single definition.
The second answer is we are many things. One of my favorite realities is, truths co-exist! Both George and Danica were apparently accomplished in role playing parts on television. Each of them certainly had more to offer. Each of them had many individual challenges also. What this tells us is we need to learn to be more than that. At the end of the day, we need to learn to leave our job at the office. If we don’t and at some point that job ends we will have too much of our identity wrapped up in that job. We have different roles in life. Each of them is areas where we should let go of our other identities to some degree and excel in that aspect of our lives.
While personally I was not a famous TV actor, I did taste the stage in high school multiple times. Certainly most people did not identify with me as any of the roles I played, but during the play, we did tend to think of each other this way. It helped us perform better. In each of our jobs, we all have different visions of what we think a supervisor is. We have pictures of what we think a business owner is. The list would go on and on. We drop people into the filters of our familiar perspective.
What comes next?
Hopefully we will neither limit ourselves or others by these perceptions even when they are generically accurate most of the time. We will be talking about many subjects that help answer a question we will talk about in our next blog post. That question is “How will you influence your future today?” We want to help others become very good at answering that question and we hope you join us on that journey.